Deconstruction continued…

So much in life is beyond human control. And, those aspects of life within human control will always be subject to human flaws. Everyone messes up, but if they are decent and honest, they will own up to it and bend over backwards to fix it, as our Contractor had done. In an uncertain world, I can forgive mistakes if the person who makes them has been honest and shown humility when their best efforts have gone awry.

We were always aware of cancer’s insidious nature. We had been comforted by the lack of lymph node involvement, but understood that cancer cells can travel through the bloodstream as well as lymphatic system. And, when cancer is in the lungs, the cells can travel through airways. Between 30 and 55% of surgically removed lung cancers will recur in distant locations. We had wanted to believe the oncologist when he said the cancer was not going to come back, but now it had. And, because we kept remembering the surgeon’s warning and advice, we were upset. Surely the same information had been conveyed to the oncologist…? Still, we were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the man had a good, evidence-based explanation for not offering immunotherapy as a preventive option nine months earlier.

He didn’t. He never even brought the subject up. He simply launched into his proposed treatment plan. We listened carefully, but still wanted an answer, and reminded him, as gently as possible, of what the surgeon told us. To this, he snapped, “And this is why I don’t have electricians do my plumbing, or have plumbers do my electrical work.” We didn’t dignify his sarcasm with a response. We just asked outright why immunotherapy hadn’t been started after the surgery. He claimed my husband had an immune factor of “Zero” which he didn’t explain, and which I later learned is a term used when people are immune-compromised, which my husband was not. Indeed, his immune system had failed to recognize the cancer cells as invaders and fight them, but it was still functioning well in other respects. All we could think was that the oncologist was attempting to cover for his serious lapse in judgement. And, the fact that he wanted to start my husband on immunotherapy when the same type of cancer had recurred, supported that. If the treatment had no chance of success after surgery, why, on earth, would it work now?

None of it made sense. We felt betrayed. All the slack we had been willing to afford the oncologist tightened to nothing.

On December 8, 2025, my husband had his first infusions of two immunotherapy drugs with differing toxicity levels. The nurse told us side effects usually start within 2 to 12 weeks.

Two days later we attended a wonderful Equity adaptation of the play, Gaslight.

Meanwhile, the heat was on and keeping the main house nicely toasty, but the addition was like an icebox….

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